I have said it before and I’ll say it again.
DATING IS NOT MY PRIORITY AT 20 YEARS OLD.
But I must say, I did run into a former high school crush of mine and the meeting was surprising yet exhilarating to the point I “might” change my thoughts for him. First, let me give you the back story of my high school crush. Throughout this post, I will refer to him by the name of Jay. “Jay” actually stands for the first letter in his last name which is “J” but I won’t say that. Back in high school, I had a semi huge crush on Jay. At the time, it wasn't a semi crush; it was huge. My crush on Jay began in the summer of 2008 when Myspace was still at a high point and had no indication of slowing down. I came across Jay on one of my friend’s Top 10 on Myspace and instantly requested his friendship (sort of like Facebook). When he approved me, I noticed he had a girlfriend so I did not act upon my crush. I simply allowed it to remain an internet crush until my friend pointed out that he was her brother. “Oooooo,” I said to myself. “Maybe this could be something.” But it wasn't. I was in preparing for my freshman year of high school that summer so I had no real interest in getting to know someone who wasn't going to my school. Jay and I are the same age. However, he was a grade below me and lived across town. Therefore, the crush was placed on the back burner until Jay could be closer.
Just my luck, I got my wish! In the school year of 2009-2010, Jay enrolled at my high school to be around his sister more. The moment he confirmed it, she ran to tell me. I was very excited. I couldn't help but think “this is my chance.” But to my surprise, it wasn't. At that age, I was super shy and very insecure. I had just lost my favorite cousin a few months prior so for me to be any type of outgoing was surprising for my friends. They had noticed my “shut down” unlike my family. Anyway, I made a plan to try to get Jay’s number in September. Jay and I had shared one class together: Spanish. I decided Jay was extremely good at it while I struggled with my pronunciation of words and spelling. Finally the bell went off in my noggin, "Ask Jay to help you learn Spanish and ease your way on in." I thought it was a brilliant idea. But the idea required a ton of confidence and that was something I truly lacked at the time. On the night of our first home football game, I decided to try my luck. Jay played varsity football team so of course he was present.. & just my luck, I saw him standing alone by the gates after the game was over. Filled with butterflies and self-doubting thoughts, I approached him to put my plan into action. I can't remember what the conversation but I do remember us exchanging numbers and him calling THAT night to ask if I really want to study or just wanted his number. That conversation began a long weekend of texting between us.
At the time I was very close to his sister Anette. She thought it would be a great idea for me to accompany her to her dad's house for Jay and her little brother's birthday party. Nervously, I refused, but eventually, she convinced me to go with her to hang out with Jay. I remember the visit did not go over well and Anette's & Jay's dad was very rude and disrespectful towards me after learning I had a crush on his son. Until this day, I do not know what his issue was with me. Their father had called me a golddigging cougar who was plotting to get his son to impregnate me for money, All of Jay's father's accusations were absurd. First of all, being the same age as someone cannot qualify that person to be a cougar. A cougar is a large American wild cat or an older woman seeking a sexual relationship with a younger man. I don't and have never fit into the definition of a cougar. Next, I cannot be a golddigger if I have never used anyone for their money. Fuck outta here! Lastly, sex is and was the last thing on my mind with his son or anyone in general. Pshhhh! Getting pregnant? Not in this universe especially not at 16. I was completely appalled by his assumptions of my character. I remember Anette being so offended by her father's words that both she and her step-mom cursed him out. I didn't speak any more during the time we visited.
I had never been unliked by a parent. It was new for me. The very same night, Jaycalled texted (I can't remember) me and asked if I was okay and why didn't I tell him that I was going with his sister to the party. It eventually went into what was said by his father which lead Jay to get angry. Apparently, his ex succeeded in those actions and had no remorse in doing so. I reassured him that those were not my intentions and we agreed that it was pretty shitty of his dad to act that way. The next two months went by smoothly. Up until December, when DG got involved. DG is the step-cousin of my best friend. I have known DG since 2006. As kids, DG liked me and had every attention of breaking up my best friend & my friendship. Don't worry, he was an asshole then and he still is now. DG had Spanish with Jay and I and also played football (sat on the bench) with Jay. Despite telling DG many, many times that I do not like him any more than the grumpy cat likes smiling, he never understood my words. I might as well have been speaking Dutch to him. Yet, DG didn't care. He found out that Jay and I were on the verge of dating and he destroyed it. DG found out the day before winter break began and Jay began to ignore me soon after.
Unsure of what I did, I finally asked Jay's sister in January and she confronted him for answers. Four days later, Anette told me that DG told Jay that I was a hoe and we were dating. Jay believed him (simple-minded) because football "bros" are supposed to come before hoes. Guys are ridiculous sometimes. After that, Jay and I never spoke again. I tried but he had deleted my number and would repeatedly ask "who is this" whenever I texted him. Whatever I thought Jay & I had, quickly ended within four months (September-December) of us speaking. I regretted the way it had ended..
Just my luck, I got my wish! In the school year of 2009-2010, Jay enrolled at my high school to be around his sister more. The moment he confirmed it, she ran to tell me. I was very excited. I couldn't help but think “this is my chance.” But to my surprise, it wasn't. At that age, I was super shy and very insecure. I had just lost my favorite cousin a few months prior so for me to be any type of outgoing was surprising for my friends. They had noticed my “shut down” unlike my family. Anyway, I made a plan to try to get Jay’s number in September. Jay and I had shared one class together: Spanish. I decided Jay was extremely good at it while I struggled with my pronunciation of words and spelling. Finally the bell went off in my noggin, "Ask Jay to help you learn Spanish and ease your way on in." I thought it was a brilliant idea. But the idea required a ton of confidence and that was something I truly lacked at the time. On the night of our first home football game, I decided to try my luck. Jay played varsity football team so of course he was present.. & just my luck, I saw him standing alone by the gates after the game was over. Filled with butterflies and self-doubting thoughts, I approached him to put my plan into action. I can't remember what the conversation but I do remember us exchanging numbers and him calling THAT night to ask if I really want to study or just wanted his number. That conversation began a long weekend of texting between us.
At the time I was very close to his sister Anette. She thought it would be a great idea for me to accompany her to her dad's house for Jay and her little brother's birthday party. Nervously, I refused, but eventually, she convinced me to go with her to hang out with Jay. I remember the visit did not go over well and Anette's & Jay's dad was very rude and disrespectful towards me after learning I had a crush on his son. Until this day, I do not know what his issue was with me. Their father had called me a golddigging cougar who was plotting to get his son to impregnate me for money, All of Jay's father's accusations were absurd. First of all, being the same age as someone cannot qualify that person to be a cougar. A cougar is a large American wild cat or an older woman seeking a sexual relationship with a younger man. I don't and have never fit into the definition of a cougar. Next, I cannot be a golddigger if I have never used anyone for their money. Fuck outta here! Lastly, sex is and was the last thing on my mind with his son or anyone in general. Pshhhh! Getting pregnant? Not in this universe especially not at 16. I was completely appalled by his assumptions of my character. I remember Anette being so offended by her father's words that both she and her step-mom cursed him out. I didn't speak any more during the time we visited.
I had never been unliked by a parent. It was new for me. The very same night, Jay
Unsure of what I did, I finally asked Jay's sister in January and she confronted him for answers. Four days later, Anette told me that DG told Jay that I was a hoe and we were dating. Jay believed him (simple-minded) because football "bros" are supposed to come before hoes. Guys are ridiculous sometimes. After that, Jay and I never spoke again. I tried but he had deleted my number and would repeatedly ask "who is this" whenever I texted him. Whatever I thought Jay & I had, quickly ended within four months (September-December) of us speaking. I regretted the way it had ended..
Fast forward to the present:
So, I was freshly off of work from the zoo and heading over to my uncle's house to swing on his porch swing when a cute guy driving a white car turned in front of me. From the side of his face, I judged he was a cute. Uninterested in learning anything about him, I continued walking to my destination. That was until I heard a voice yell "aye." Usually, I wouldn't dare turn around when a dude (or a girl) would say "aye." My first instinct when he said this was turn around and mean mug him then continue on. But when I turned around, his unfamiliar face became very familiar. The face of this man was one I had a crush on since 2008. When I turned around, all I could do was smile and shyly say "hi." In my position, I couldnt believe what I was seeing. He smiled in return and asked me how I had been. Dumbfounded, I answered with a mere "good" followed by "how about yourself?" Jay told me the same and asked was I just getting off of work. Looking down at my uniform and all of the junk I was carrying, I said 'yes' with slight embarrassment. Yet, Jay continued to smile like this was our first meeting and what happened in high school never occurred. I played along and he continued with his questions.
PS. I didn't see him at the festival. Its possible he couldhave been there but the area the festival was being held at was huge. Foolishly, I didn't get his number nor did I think too. Blah, I didn't use my brain.
"What are you doing later?"
"Possibly the Strawberry Festival."
"Oh really? Me too. I'll see you out there."
"Okay!"
He winked and walked into the store as I smiled and made my merry way to my uncle's house. Although I keep saying dating is off the market, my old crushes seem to be coming around. Maybe I'll take my chances.PS. I didn't see him at the festival. Its possible he couldhave been there but the area the festival was being held at was huge. Foolishly, I didn't get his number nor did I think too. Blah, I didn't use my brain.
♥
Reisha