In honor of my 21st birthday, I thought I'd share 21 life lessons that I've learned so far. I pray to receive many, many more in the future. Yes, this is in 3rd person. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME =)
1. You have to do what's best for you.
No one can live your life BUT you! You have to do what you think is best. Trust yourself and your decisions. Life is all about making mistakes and there is nothing wrong in doing so. It gives you lessons like these to reflect on and pass on to others.
2. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.
It's apart of growing up. I don't have too much to say about this topic other than you need to put on your big girl pants and face the task that you do not want to do. It may be beneficial in the future or may contribute to your future in a helpful way but you'll never know by quitting so stick with it and do it.
3. Don't cry over spilled milk.
Grandma taught you this your senior year of high school. Some relationships are meant to be let go of. They may be damaging to you and you shouldn't cry over it because its for the best. Also, don't cry over something you can clean up or fix such as a relationship. Anything can be worked out if the both of you are willing to put the work in to do it. If not, let it go and let it fly like a butterfly. Don't stress over it. In this case, the relationship or whatever went wrong is spilled milk.
4. Your parents love you regardless of your mistakes.
I've done a shitload of things I'm not proud of but not once did my parents ever turn their backs on me or judge me as stupid like I would to myself. They are the sweetest people I could ever have been blessed with and I am grateful for them. As a parent, it takes a lot to watch your child make a mistake that you cannot save them from. For my parents, this has been two major incidents where they couldn't help me. They had to let me learn on my own. For that, I am grateful.
5. Most of your friends from high school will not be your friends after graduation.
This is probably one of the realest things anyone has ever told me. Now being post-high school, I only have four real friends. Before that, I had many, many friends that I would converse with on a daily basis. Not anymore. You either grow apart or grow together. I realized that I was really only friends with a lot of people because I saw them 5 days a week. However, I am grateful for the four individuals in my life that have never left my side.
6. If someone is comfortable with talking to you about others, they are comfortable to talk about you to other people.
This is self-explanatory. Therefore, be careful with who you share your business with. You never know who is going to blab about it to another.
7. Money isn't everything.
I live by this motto. Money doesn't bring you happiness, real love or real friends. Money is about as shallow as the people who embrace it. It does nothing but buy you materialistic items that you use to pretend you're flashy. Don't get me wrong, money is crucial to life but it shouldn't be idolized. Life has more meaning than how much you get paid every week.
8. You can't make someone love you if they don't.
You can't make their heart feel something it won't. So if they don't love you and you love them, move on. Don't get your feelings hurt or caught up in the wrong person. Some people may not be genuine enough to tell you this outright so be sure you know the signs of someone who isn't doing their part to show you that you are as appreciated as you show them they are.
9. Nothing worth having comes easy.
When you want something bad enough, you strive for it. But nothing you want bad enough is going to be handed to you. For example, your degree will never be handed to you. You must work your ass off for it like everyone else. Once you have completed the curriculum, you'll have it. But you must remember that nothing work having comes easy because if it was easy then you wouldn't want it, everyone would have it. That goes for people too.
10. Tipping is important in life.
Waiters/waitresses live off of tips. They make their money this way. Some even pay for college this way. Think of yourself in their position when you're out to eat. Be generous and tip for good service. Even if its okay service, tip. These people barely get paid minimum wage and it's not fair to them that you wasted their table space all night just to not tip them anything for their time and service. You get paid, you go out to eat, you tip. Simple as that.
11. Black girls are beautiful, too!
I know it is hard being African American. As a child, you hated it. There's nothing wrong with your race or your skin. To be beautiful. you have to love the skin you're in. Besides, that isn't what gets you friends. Your heart and soul is what people tend to look at when they're trying to start a friendship. Your skin color isn't important. Black girls rock! Remember that!
12. It's okay to get chubby.
Yes it is. You do not need to be as skinny as a Victoria's Secret model. You need to love and embrace the figure that you have. You're beautiful regardless of what the media portrays as beautiful these days. Love yourself first.
13. Love your inner child.
You're in your 20's! HAVE FUN! I can't stress that enough. Embrace your inner child and let her roam free (she'll love that)! It's okay to go to the park once in a while and swing on the swing set like a kid or have ice cream with sprinkles because today is just a good day. These things are okay. Your inner child is apart of you and you put aside work sometimes to be able to play and have fun. Work hard then play.
14. Family is everything!
You may already know this but I have to remind you. Family is everything. They are your backbone when you're hurt, your friend when you're lonely, your protector when the world is cold and your favorite people to deal with when the world is just a mean place to be apart of. They're always there for you when you need them. I absolutely love my family.
15. Put your phone down.
No matter where you go, your phone is in your hand ready for a text message or phone call (more likely a text because I hate phone calls). How do you expect to live if your life is wrapped up in your phone? Technology will always be there but the chance to meet new and exciting people may not. Get to know the people around you and live a little! Take the time out to put down your phone and enjoy your surroundings.
16. You don't need to have everything figured out!
If you had everything figured out at 21, you'd have no room for improvement. Life would be dull and boring. You still have a long way of life to go and many mistakes to learn from. No one has it figured out in their 20's. That's what your 20's are for! Figuring out life and exploring life. Take advantage of every opportunity because you never know the outcome.
17. Don't compare your life to others.
First off, you are not that person and their struggles are different than yours. You are YOU & there should be no one else in the world you'd rather be. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. What may seem so perfect on the outside may be tainted and crumbled behind closed doors. Appreciate the life you have and the struggles you encounter because it will make you a better individual.
18. The little things make you happy!
Sleeping in on a Saturday, having breakfast before work, falling asleep with no worries of missing a due date and sipping orange juice out of a wine glass are just a few things that make life great.
19. Always follow your gut feeling.
You'll come across this a lot in your life. It is best to always listen to your gut. When things don't feel right or may be too good to be true, listen to your gut feeling to guide you to the right decision. Do not let anyone deter you from listening to yourself first.
20. Speak it into existence.
God has a way of blessing you when you are positive about things that happen in your life. Speak it into existence means to talk about it so much that it comes true. God rewards those who work hard for what they want so if you truly believe that something will happen, it just may. Its pretty hard to explain but I found a scripture that tends to sum it up. "So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it." - Isaiah 55:11. I'm not very religious but this touched me.
21. Enjoy this time of your life. The best is yet to come.
You're officially legal now. No more wishing you could tag along with your cousins. You're 21 & they'll take you with them anytime they get drinks to relax. Enjoy your life because in 9 more years you'll be 30. But let's not think about that. Focus on your goals and meet them. You graduate next year at 22!!! Keep that in mind also =)