College is o v e r for the semester and I AM SO HAPPY! I earned a 3.5 for the semester with grades of 2 A's & a B in Chemistry. That B made my life complete. My grade was exactly 79.9%. It was rounded to an 80% which gave me a B. That B allowed me to receive an invitation to start clinicals as a Medical Assistant for the fall of this year. I am so excited. After June 5th, I will find out what semester I'll graduate and all the details but for now, I AM CELEBRATING! Which brings me to my next concern, will being a Medical Assistant have me working as hard as I am now with two jobs? Will I make enough money for the lifestyle that I would like? Will I be happy? Is this the right decision? Then I began to regret the fact I didn't ask to be evaluated for Dental Hygiene. I honestly do not know what I want in life.
Work is extremely complicated. I am so ready to quit my second job to focus on my first job but unfortunately I need a part-time job and my first job isn't offering that. So in order to survive after the summer is over, I have to work two jobs and maintain a social life somehow. Working two jobs stresses me out. I don't have "me" time. I'm miserable at both jobs because I'm tired. I don't sleep much. When I get off of work, I immediately take a shower, eat something then go to sleep. I'm probably sleep deprived. My body aches. But as much as I complain, I can't seem to quit. I want a car so badly that I am willingly to give up my sleep and life to obtain it. I don't know what else to do to get it. Its times like this I wish I was a bit privileged and someone would buy me a car to get back and forth to work/school with. Some people don't know how great they have it. Seriously, I miss having an off day and relaxing. Honestly, my next off day isn't until Sunday. I worked from last Thursday and will continue to do so until Saturday of this week. Just thinking of this makes me wanna cry. But on the plus side, I am learning how to save my money for my car with books and better financial decisions. It will take at least $200 a month to come up with $600 by the end of the summer. Pray for me.
Dating relationships are blah. I'm not interested in anyone who tries to spit game. I won't even consider speaking to someone I find to be cute because I'm not ready for it. I'm not ready for it because I am still working on myself. I feel as though I am not ready for a relationships because I do not have much to offer. I also have trust issues that I have no begun to work on because I am focused on other things at the moment. Maybe once I get a car and reach my fitness goals, I'll feel better about myself and be open to starting a relationship. I cannot love someone else until I fully love myself, right? Right. But as of now, I am NOT interested in no man or ex or subspecies. I am only interested in earning a car and a license to begin this beautiful life I have been imagining for years.
Health is a working process. As I stated in my last post, I have a few workout goals and body inspirations that I want to accomplish. Its been a challenge due to how I work. When I get off of work, I'm way too tired to do anything. Instead of allowing myself to eat and lay down, I must learn to give myself a pep talk to keep going if I want the results I so desperately desire. I worked out once last Wednesday and I worked out once today. I want to keep this up. Working out every day up until Saturday and giving Sunday as a rest day. On the bright side of things, I believe I'm at least 5'2 now! & possibly have a depression issue, but that is in the works of being handled.
Friendships are blasphemy. I fell out with a friend in April because her boyfriend used me to get out of his problems with her. Since the incident, I have not spoken to her and plan on not speaking to her. She's fine where she is. If she was ever a friend of mine, a boyfriend would never have been believed over a friend she has had since middle school. I just assume that my friendship didnt mean as much to her as it did to me and I have become okay with that. Shit, Im not pressed for friends. I'm pressed for money. On the bright side of things, my bestie Nay has recently moved into her own apartment. Of course inspiring me and what not with her decision! I am so proud of her!
By the way, thank you so much for 14,382 views! You all are AMAZING!
♥
Reisha