How I'm feeling . .

Today has been a pretty rough day. First, I failed my math test. I'm POSITIVE I failed my math test. My teacher isn't a very good instructor. It irks me so much that the way he teaches is hard to understand. I feel like I'm going to fail the semester though I pray I won't. Even if I do, he said he'll count the grade on our final as the semester grade. I just need a B or a C *crosses fingers*. NEXT, I find out the most important person to me is in jail for the night. I cannot  express how worried I am about him. I believe some police are good but others do shit to mess with you. My day was pretty bad but when this song came on my ipod, I listened to it over and over again.

Ain't it funny? How I spend my whole life running?
Reaching for the sky high and coming down with nothing..Feels like I'm 4 years old all over again. Cause I'm just running fast. Should be walking. Saying when I grow up, you gon' see. I'm gon' be comfortable and happy.

When I heard these lyrics from the song, I instantly thought of myself as a child (4 years old preferably). I've spent my whole life running around, reaching for the stars, but coming down with nothing. As in, I've been trying to be everything for everyone but never someone for myself. Just me. I'm running fast trying to reach goals other people have set for me but I should be walking to realize my own. I swore as a kid when I turned 18, I'd be living in my own apartment, driving my own car, in school, with a boyfriend, and ya know, COMFORTABLE & HAPPY. I must admit, I am comfortable... I dont live in my own apartment. I dont have my own car. I'm in school (YAY!), but I don't have a boyfriend. Not even someone in mind or close to boyfriend material. & most of all, happiness? No. I haven't found complete happiness. Just short moments of it.  I just feel I haven't fulfilled 4 year old me's promises. That's why I can seriously relate to this song. Thank you Chris Breezy.