I was positive I had him completely out of my life... & just like that... he's back.
How did this happen? How did I allow this to happen? That night, I completely went against everything I've been preaching since he left. Its so bad that I'm too ashamed to even tell my friends about that night. But I must tell my story because if I don't, it'll drive me crazy. It was the night of July 26th, 2013, around 10 pm. I was sleepy and tired but too lazy to go to bed when I noticed my iPod light up. "He" (as we will call him) commented on an Instagram photo of mine, but all I could see was "Reisha this is rand..." I was really surprised by that notification so I quickly opened the app to see that he had asked me to go to the Waffle House with him. I thought maybe I was dreaming but I wasn't. I kinda wish I was dreaming because then I wouldn't feel like such a hypocrite after I talked all that smack about this boy and so reluctantly I went back, well allowed him to come back around me. I couldn't help it though. I was curious what it was that he wanted from me.
So after a few back and forth comments, he told me he was on his way. I got ready as fast as possible . Well it was about an hour and 30 minutes before he actually showed but I had to make sure I made him regret his poor decision of cutting me off. I was sorta nervous because I didn't know what to expect. I thought maybe he was setting me up to get beat up or worse, ditching me somewhere to look cool. Whatever it was, I was prepared and knew I could get this over with. I needed the closure so I went along with it. When he arrived he needed to put something he used for work in my apartment until we came back. I said thats fine but wishing my mom was sleep. When she saw him she lite up with excitement. She asked him how does it feel to be back? & he responded good very good. I shook my head. No, Mom, no. Before we left my apartment complex he stop at the exit and asked me to get out. I was confused but I stepped out. He asked if I knew anyone in the apartments we were in front of. I said no and stared at him like what the hell are you thinking? He proceeded to say that he didn't want me to feel like a last option before we went to dinner (or breakfast.) I assured him this was nothing serious and I appreciate his effort to make me comfortable. How could I judge? We proceeded to get into his truck after he told me how his first love was mad at him and the girl that he wants is currently out of town, playing with his emotions. I guess you can call that karma for the way he treated me. I reassured him that he didn't have to explain anything to me. He was bored that night and I was also. Let's just enjoy each other's company and ignore everything else. So we set out on our adventure...
On the ride there we talked a little but goofed off more. Next thing I knew we were at Steak and Shake because he wanted a milkshake. I didn't mind. I had never been to the restaurant so I was a bit excited. Once we were seated, he began to vent like there was no tomorrow. It was like we were best friends and nothing bad had ever happened between us. Least that's how I felt. When I say he spilled everything, I mean every got damn thing. He explained in detail how every girl after me didn't work out. His new love wasn't acting the way he had hoped. I felt bad yet I was curious why he was telling me this. That's when the couple behind us became more interesting. The woman shrieked happily and jumped on her boyfriend. From the looks of it, he had just proposed or gave her some kind of ring. Hugs and kisses went on for minutes. Thats when my ex looks at me and says "that should be us." I was confused, "us who?" Of course he answered with "me and you." No surprise there. I just said stop and changed the subject. I wasn't trying to get into my own feelings.
After spending an hour and thirty minutes talking about relationships, he decided to ask about my love life and catch up on things he felt he missed during the lost time. I made it clear I wasn't interested in dating. I just want to focus on work, school and myself. I must not have sounded very sincere about it because he laughed and said "that doesn't sound right." He told me if he didn't hear from me during the upcoming week that he would pop up at my job and bother me until I talked to him. I laughed but he was serious. That's when he told me he missed me. I felt my heart melt. I barely remember what I said after that. I think I just smiled. He told me despite all the girls he had been around the past few months, none of them were as honest and as real with him as I was. He missed that. & I missed him.
From 12:19am-3am, we sipped milkshakes at Steak and Shake, reminiscing and talking. On the way home was kind of quiet. We kinda said our goodbyes and that was it. When he got home he tweeted about the night and that was it. Probably the last time I'll hear from him for another 3-5 months. I feel as though he's just waiting for me to text/call him so he can add me as another girl on his list. Like before. I'm not bothering him. But honestly, I do miss him. I miss the friendship. Still, I refuse to go back because this always happens. Always. It never changes. Although, he kept boasting about feeling free from commitments with females, I don't trust it. When he was with me he couldn't be "free" to do whatever he wanted with whoever he wanted because he was telling each girl they were the only one and now he doesn't. Sounds like BS, right? I know.
Update: Well he did try contacting me... for a week straight lol. He called today and I realized that I had had his text messages blocked. Oop.